You Might be an Engineer If

One day I spent time searching for an IT humor and I found this. Count how many of those are true.


You Might be an Engineer If


* Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.

* In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure.

* People groan at the party when you pick out the music.

* The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.

* The only jokes you receive are through e-mail.

* The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.

* The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind.

* When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct him and spend next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

* You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.

* You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say so out loud.

* You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor.

* You are next in line on death row in a French prison and you find that the guillotine is not working properly so you offer to fix it.

* You are wine tasting and find yourself paying more attention to the cork screws than the '84 Chardonnay.

* You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday.

* You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.

* You can't fit any more colored pens in your shirt pocket.

* You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.

* You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.

* You carry a list for everything except the groceries.

* You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.

* You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.

* You disdain people who use low baud rates.

* You ever burned down the gymnasium with your science fair project.

* You ever forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months.

* You find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying the baggage handling equipment.

* You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.

* You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.

* You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.

* You have ever owned a calculator with no equals key and know what RPN stands for.

* You have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is".

* You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.

* You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside.

* You have memorized the Discovery Channel program schedule but have seen most of the shows already.

* You have modified your can opener to be microprocessor driven.

* You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

* You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.

* You just don't have the heart to throw away the 100-in-1 electronics kit you got for your ninth birthday.

* You know how to take the cover off your computer, and what size screwdriver to use.

* You know the altitude limits for turning on and off electronic equipment on commercial flights.

* You know the direction the water swirls when you flush.

* You know what http:// stands for.

* You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.

* You order pizza over the Internet and pay for it through your home banking software.

* You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.

* You rooted for HAL, the computer in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

* You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.

* You see a good design and still have to change it.

* You spend more time on your home computer than in your car.

* You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.

* You talk about the high resolution and picture-in-picture capability of your big screen TV while everybody is watching the Superbowl.

* You talk about trellis code modulation at parties.

* You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.

* You think Sales and Marketing are Satan's children.

* You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.

* You think your computer looks better without the cover.

* You thought the contraption ET used to phone home was stupid.

* You thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers.

* You walk around with your hands in your two front pockets 99% of the time.

* You window shop at Radio Shack.

* You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.

* You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite.

* You've already calculated how much you make per second.

* You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.

* Your checkbook always balances.

* Your dress clothes come from Sears.

* Your favorite actor is R2D2.

* Your favorite character on Gilligan's Island was "The Professor".

* Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets.

* Your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her.

* Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.

* Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.

* Your Internet bill is higher than your long distance charges.

* Your IQ is a higher number than your weight.

* Your spouse sends you an email instead of calling you to dinner.

* Your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.

* Your wardrobe looks like you shop at Goodwill Industries.

* Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work.

* Your wristwatch has more computing power than a 450 MHz Pentium.

* Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.



content taken from http://www.geocities.com/krishna_kunchith/humor/computer.html#eco